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“I like Mommy’s House better…”
Blended family struggles Vol.1

When my ex-wife came out four years ago, I knew MY world was never going to be the same, but I quickly realized that my children’s world was about to look very different too. Gone was the dream of the “white-picket-fence-perfect-million-dollar family”. This odd idyllic image was to be replaced by pickups and drop-offs to two different houses, each with two different bedrooms, two sets of clothes, and two sets of toys.

This is the reality for many blended families, […]

Father Daughter Dance – These Guys Understand…

Last Sunday, I was the host and DJ for the 10th Annual Father Daughter Dance, a dance that started back in 2005 with only 17 dads. We thought 17 dads coming was cool, but this year we were at capacity with over 175 dads, together in one room, each with one, two, or even 3 daughters for an unforgettable night of family memories with 400 other enthusiastic people. This year we were sold out a week early!  Imagining a sell out 10 years […]

Are you ever naked in front of the kids?

Let me set the scene for the last time my son ever saw my penis…

It was between the second and third period of a junior hockey game. There were not enough toilets to accommodate the ‘beer-bladdered’ home town hockey fans. So there we were, father and son, hand in hand, waiting patiently for an open stall (as the urinals were way too high up for my 4 year old and the thought of ANYTHING from that urinal touching my son […]

Spousal Resentment Meter

Late last week, we took our Spousal Resentment Meter (SRM) from a volatile 6 back down to a calm 0.

Psychologist Dr. Alison Poulsen has a great definition of resentment; “… is the feeling of bitterness, anger, or hatred resulting from a real or imagined wrong.  The key difference between resentment, anger and contempt stems from how a person perceives the status of the wrong-doer. Resentment is directed at people with perceived higher status; anger is directed at people with perceived equal status; contempt is directed at […]

 

** This idea was inspired by the amazing Samantha Ettus (www.samanthaettus.com) during her TED Talk, delivered at the Dad 2.0 Summit in San Francisco in February 2015 — one of her coolest ideas was that our kids are watching the movie of our relationship every day…

 

“50 Shades of You…”

 

There are no handcuffs or blindfolds in this movie…
No retakes, no clever editing, no body doubles; it’s […]

How to Raise a Kid No One Likes…

You avoid them at work.
You get stuck talking to them at parties.
They dated your best friend’s roommate.

These are the adults that no one likes.

How did they become so self-centered, obnoxious, and just plain awful?
What happened in their formative years that created these “unlikeables”?  What could their parents have done differently to help mold a more likeable human?

Here are 6 excellent ways to raise a kid no one likes.

Always let you child […]

Daddy’s gone?  Where?

Unlike retailers and children everywhere, I do not look forward to December and I am thankful that it is over.

Although Santa’s arrival is awesome, it’s the departures in December that drag me down. I am not a morbid-glass-half-empty-doomsday type of person, but my optimism and positivity were severely tested by too many sad events last month. The onset of the holidays can trigger many happy memories but also many sad ones (every December 19th, I think about my incredible father-in-law who we lost a few years […]

My Step-dad Struggles – Vol. 1 – “Playing Favourites”

“Our son did that!”
“You mean your son or my son?”
“You should see the stunt your son pulled today!”

With more and more marriages ending in divorce, the number of blended families continues to rise. In fact, in the stats I found, the blended family has become the most common form of family (1 out of every 3 Americans is either a step-parent or step child, or has some other form of blended family – that’s almost 100 […]

I know why you two fight… (Part 2)

In part 1, we looked at the one of the big reasons why you two may fight, your protective self vs. your authentic self.

Now I want to talk about the great Terry Real, best selling author and founder of the Relational Life Institute, who coined the term “core negative image (CNI)” as it relates to the core negative image you may possess about your partner. This thought-provoking-game-changing-nugget has really helped me […]

I know why you two fight… (Part 1)

I know exactly why you and your partner fight with each other. Sure, your fights might masquerade and manifest as arguments about money, the kids, the lack of sex, or who took out the garbage last, but that is not really what they are about.

At the absolute root, it’s about your protective self and your core negative image (CNI) of your partner. I will discuss CNI on Friday, so for now, I want to focus on your protective and authentic self.

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