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Spousal Resentment Meter

Late last week, we took our Spousal Resentment Meter (SRM) from a volatile 6 back down to a calm 0.

Psychologist Dr. Alison Poulsen has a great definition of resentment; “… is the feeling of bitterness, anger, or hatred resulting from a real or imagined wrong.  The key difference between resentment, anger and contempt stems from how a person perceives the status of the wrong-doer. Resentment is directed at people with perceived higher status; anger is directed at people with perceived equal status; contempt is directed at […]


** This idea was inspired by the amazing Samantha Ettus ( during her TED Talk, delivered at the Dad 2.0 Summit in San Francisco in February 2015 — one of her coolest ideas was that our kids are watching the movie of our relationship every day…


“50 Shades of You…”


There are no handcuffs or blindfolds in this movie…
No retakes, no clever editing, no body doubles; it’s […]

How to Raise a Kid No One Likes…

You avoid them at work.
You get stuck talking to them at parties.
They dated your best friend’s roommate.

These are the adults that no one likes.

How did they become so self-centered, obnoxious, and just plain awful?
What happened in their formative years that created these “unlikeables”?  What could their parents have done differently to help mold a more likeable human?

Here are 6 excellent ways to raise a kid no one likes.

Always let you child […]

Daddy’s gone?  Where?

Unlike retailers and children everywhere, I do not look forward to December and I am thankful that it is over.

Although Santa’s arrival is awesome, it’s the departures in December that drag me down. I am not a morbid-glass-half-empty-doomsday type of person, but my optimism and positivity were severely tested by too many sad events last month. The onset of the holidays can trigger many happy memories but also many sad ones (every December 19th, I think about my incredible father-in-law who we lost a few years […]

My Step-dad Struggles – Vol. 1 – “Playing Favourites”

“Our son did that!”
“You mean your son or my son?”
“You should see the stunt your son pulled today!”

With more and more marriages ending in divorce, the number of blended families continues to rise. In fact, in the stats I found, the blended family has become the most common form of family (1 out of every 3 Americans is either a step-parent or step child, or has some other form of blended family – that’s almost 100 […]

I know why you two fight… (Part 2)

In part 1, we looked at the one of the big reasons why you two may fight, your protective self vs. your authentic self.

Now I want to talk about the great Terry Real, best selling author and founder of the Relational Life Institute, who coined the term “core negative image (CNI)” as it relates to the core negative image you may possess about your partner. This thought-provoking-game-changing-nugget has really helped me […]

I know why you two fight… (Part 1)

I know exactly why you and your partner fight with each other. Sure, your fights might masquerade and manifest as arguments about money, the kids, the lack of sex, or who took out the garbage last, but that is not really what they are about.

At the absolute root, it’s about your protective self and your core negative image (CNI) of your partner. I will discuss CNI on Friday, so for now, I want to focus on your protective and authentic self.


Dads Do It Differently!

Dads do it differently. Not better. Not Worse. Just different.

That was one of my main points in my keynote speech “What Dads Really Want…” which I delivered last week in beautiful Penticton, BC.

My room was full of childcare service providers, moms, and actually, a great number of dads! I wanted to challenge them, and now I want to challenge you. I want to challenge you to carefully consider and examine your core idea of what a dad is, what a dad does, and what […]

The Day I Lost my Daughter

There is nothing better than Daddy-daughter night at the mall. It’s a night of holding hands, shopping, ice cream and “sometimes treats”, and laughing all the way with my four year old.

It was pure magic, until we hit the big department store. While we were looking at shiny new toys, I wandered into the next aisle of electronics. She was now engrossed in a TV show on one of the thousand TVs.

I returned to show Jack what I found.
“Hey Jack, […]

The Bad Touch:
When a stranger touched my little girl…

I tickle and wrestle with my little girl and my little boys too, when they initiate.

They have granted me that privilege as a caring, loving father.

I will not tickle and wrestle with your children. Aside from being wildly inappropriate and crossing boundaries, they do not know me.

As a family, we have been living through a massive house renovation. Our little house has been a bee hive of activity, activity done by strangers; electricians, drywallers, plumbers, and […]