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“Your one idea saved my marriage…”

I run a biweekly men’s group called the Good Men. Our mandate is simple.  We want to help each other be better men: better fathers, better partners, and better people. No sacred circles, hand holding or kumbaya, just talking. We all love it… it is a chance for men to talk, to laugh, to share, to give different perspectives, and occasionally we save marriages.

Late last year, one of our men was in a deep, dark relationship rut and in his words, on the […]

Behold! My genetically average kids!

My kids are genetically average (from an athletic point of view) – I am ok with that.

We have exposed our children to as many activities as life, time, and money will allow.

We’ve tried hockey.
We’ve tried soccer.
We’ve tried baseball.
We’ve tried rugby.
We’ve tried dance.
We’ve tried ballet.
We’ve tried theatre.
We’ve tried basketball.
We’ve tried karate, tae-kwan-do, and yoga.

Our kids were ok at all of those activities.  They tried hard, they worked […]

Dearest Santa,

I know you are reading this letter at your busiest time and for that I do apologize. Having paid my dues in Christmas retail, I always hated the shoppers that ran into the store at closing time, but I do need to talk to you about this Christmas and my four children.

Our youngest is only 19 months so he is blissfully unaware of your magic and also unaware of the unrest and suspicions swirling around our house. I am not sure if your Scout elves, Gabriel and […]

People, not things…

Facebook can waste a ton of your valuable time with Cat Fail videos, but every once in a blue moon, a gem will cross a “newsfeed”. Last week, the final thoughts of a rich man shook me to my core. The final words were exactly what I have been preaching to my kids: “People, not things.”   The man had, in his life, achieved the epitome of success, but in the end, his non-stop pursuit of wealth and ‘things’ left him feeling bankrupt in some key relationships.

Mansions, […]

4 Things your Wife HATES about you….

(recently picked up by Huffington Post)

Inspired by my recent Gottman Couples therapy training, here are four things your wife loathes about you and wishes she could change. You, and these items, become girls’ night fodder as females congregate to lament their choice in their male partner.

You don’t accept her influence. You expect her to accept your ideas and influence but you seldom accept hers. I know. I do the same thing. My wife will suggest something. I balk or stall […]

Just say No… (Please, It’s OK!!!)

I love older people and the wisdom they exude. As I sat with a group of spry seniors, I overheard this gem. “Parent’s don’t say ‘no’ to their kids anymore, that’s why the kids today are spoiled and feel so entitled…”

Just saying “No”, is something you and I already know we should do more.

I’m not talking about teaching them to say “No” to drugs, premarital intercourse, or following a hippie to a second location. I’m talking about a parent saying “No” to […]

** Back from my summer hiatus!  I typically take a break after Father’s Day to actually BE a Father rather than writing about being one… Kids are back in school and now I can write again.  Thanks for your continued support and comments.  I really appreciate it! 


The Gay Black Female President…

Savvy universities annually send their professors cheat sheets to educate and prepare them for their incoming new students. These cheat sheets are chock-full of factoids about the world these new students, most born in the late […]

Crank up the Step-Dad love this Sunday!

Father’s Day is my favourite day of the year. Period.

Father’s Day has not been a national holiday as long as Mother’s Day (1972 vs. 1910), but today’s more involved dads don’t care about history – we love our kids. I treasure the hand crafted gifts my children make for me at school and feel incredibly privileged to be a father.

On Father’s Day, I reflect not only on how lucky I am, but on how unlucky some other men are: the guys […]

A Baby, a Beggar, and one Left Turn

I was driving in a bad mood. I don’t even remember what was wrong. I guess something in my entitled privileged life wasn’t working out the way I wanted. Even the smiling cooing eight month old baby in the backseat couldn’t break up the dark gloomy clouds over my head.

In a lineup of at least half a dozen cars, we waited for our turn to turn left. Up ahead, I saw him; the bearded dirty man begging on the median, touting […]

“I like Mommy’s House better…”
Blended family struggles Vol.1

When my ex-wife came out four years ago, I knew MY world was never going to be the same, but I quickly realized that my children’s world was about to look very different too. Gone was the dream of the “white-picket-fence-perfect-million-dollar family”. This odd idyllic image was to be replaced by pickups and drop-offs to two different houses, each with two different bedrooms, two sets of clothes, and two sets of toys.

This is the reality for many blended families, […]