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** This is not Danny – but this man is Irish, in a pub, and reminds me of Danny.

This article picked up my the Good Men Project out of the US –

http://goodmenproject.com/uncategorized/raise-kid-wwh/

 

I had time to kill waiting for a friend at a pub.

I knew no one in this pub, yet sitting on that bar stool, on a cloudy Tuesday afternoon, I received one of the best pieces of parenting advice ever from the Irish gent sitting 2 bar stools away.

Long story short, after awkward introductions, we struck up a lively animated conversation about our families.  When I mentioned to him that I was a writer, interested in parenting from a dad’s point of view, my new friend Danny (imagine that) said that all he ever wanted to do was to “raise a son that I’d like to have a drink with!”

At first, the skeptic pessimist in me assumed Danny would likely have a drink with anyone, but then I realized what he really meant.   He was so right.

His theory was so simple yet encompassed so many of my core values.

If I was to picture myself in a pub sometime in the future, and in walks a familiar stranger that sits on the stool beside me…

(if the pub/alcohol angle of this piece bothers you, pretend you are both sipping on blueberry pomegranate smoothies with flax, tofu, and the protein blaster added)

  • I would want to hang out with someone that was cool, socially aware, confident, and interesting.
  • I would value their intelligent conversation and their genuine interest in me and the world around us.
  • I would relish their positive energy, quick wit, and active listening.

 

I would not want to have a drink with someone that kept interrupting me, complained too much, and was not polite to me or the staff.

I would quickly distance myself from someone that was belligerent and only talked about themselves.

I would not want to spend any time at all with someone that was narrow minded, opinionated, racist, or homophobic.

This list could go on and on, but I think you know what I mean.

 

In life, you want to surround yourself with positive, happy, genuine people, not idiots and energy suckers.

Like not wanting to spend 5 hours on a golf course with a jerk, everyone’s time is precious and, just like Grandpa Orval always says, “Nobody likes an A-Hole”.

So moving forward as a dad, I apply Danny’s wisdom to my life and parenting philosophy.  I realize that if I want to raise my children to be great all around balanced people, I need to be all those positive things NOW!   They need to see it live and in person!

Like Gandhi uttered, be the change you seek.

I will continue to be genuinely interested in their lives and the world.

I will demonstrate real listening, social intelligence, and compassion.

While I am not responsible for their happiness, I will lead by example and choose kindness.

I will raise a friend a friend would love to have a drink with.    And so should YOU!

I’ll drink to that!  Sláinte (to your health) Danny Boy!

Cheers!

Until next time…

Irish

Comments

comments

  • Hey Jeff,
    I’m a fellow dad as well. I really enjoy your columns.i find myself relating quite a bit. Great job!

    • Jeff Jan 17, 2014 Reply

      Hey Brad!

      Great to hear from you — thanks for the kind words — I replied via facebook but just in case, I look forward to hearing more insights and comments from you!

      Cheers,
      Jeff

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